JPG Magazine: MsB

Tuesday, July 31, 2007

to cute

type in doggy commands; roll over, beg, sit, ect. don't forget kiss.

So beautiful

another liberation from the www. 2 view more go to two dogs blogging for the link.

Sunday, July 29, 2007


Friday, July 27, 2007


"To seek happiness outside ourselves is like trying to lasso a cloud." Paramhansa Yogananda

odometer of age

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Can't stop at 55

Been out cruising' the photo blogs tonight. There is some amazing work out there. And done by people I keep thinking of as kids. Wrong, I'm just old. I'm waiting to see my profile turn over tonite. Do you suppose it will. Like an odometer. Is 55 the magic number?

Anyway the fotos. By twenty somethings. Amazing what they see. Or what I've missed. My peers, my hero's, my generation, Diane Arbus in B&W. She took normal and made it odd and odd and treated it as normal. She was my personal favorite, dark and tortured artist. I read somewhere she photographed two rolls a day and developed and printed them by night. I had to do that. For over a year. My whole house became a darkroom. sometimes I would loose a day.

And then it was Cindy Shermon. So grand, more like theater. I became my photo. My dream girl. And the props. Never got tired of dressing up. I became my own personal photo Barbie. Or Jackie O. or the Ho on the corner. Ended up dark too. I had to shoot slides because I could develop them my self. I wanted color and the one hour photo wouldn't print them.

My favorite Ken was gay. Those were the Mapplethorpe (careful with this link) days. No bullwhips for my muse. Cigarettes and smoke, Betty Davis eyes. But the flowers were exquisite, well to me. I do tend to be a bit narcissistic. Those were the days my friend, I thought they would never end.

But life got in the way. Mainstream, student loans, back taxes, accountability. The tortured struggling artist had to go. I lost my drive and Passion in my quest for the real. What ever the fuck that means. All that came out of my camera was the mundane. No vision. And I settled for what I got. I accepted life as it became and learned to be ok.

And I stopped taking pictures. Husbands and business became the muse. because for me, I only knew how to be a tortured artist. I, not an artist that can take the world and undo its mundane and make it beautiful. These new photographers take edgy and hip and not have to resort to shock for value. No need for Joel Peter-Witken creepy attached to almost unrelated intellectual thesis. No pics of family children snapped in a way as to try and define the distinction between soft porn and exquisite family photos.

And the pictures I am seeing are not a gesture at gross manipulation. What as been contrived is almost indiscernible. Good cameras and good eye for wimsey in a cutting sort of way. And did I mention beautiful. Breathtaking some. Thoughtful, unpretentious, fun. I'm sure there's plenty of the other stuff out there and granted I have been flipping through the pages of JEPG. But all I know is I like it.

I don't know, maybe at 55 I have become a prude. I suppose it all had its place and now I am moving on. It may be a sign that I have finally arrived solidly in adulthood or I have finally begun my next journey. The move is to find beauty. No questions asked. Or than maybe just no answers. Only unsolved beauty.

the watcher

Tuesday, July 24, 2007

a bit of color

I can change my outlook any time
thanks Wacom

Monday, July 23, 2007

and da cat was down

Well what a day. Got up, took the dogs to the dog park, did the dishes, went to the store for milk, sent of a poster I sold on e-bay, put another one up for sale, read my blogs and feel asleep. When I woke up I realized how often this has been happening. Six months ago it was just a few times a week.

And then I started to cry. I don't want to watch as my health diminishes and I know it will no matter what I want. BIG pity pot I was on. I'm not going to die. Well probably not but I am more than likely going to go right to the edge before I get better. That's the way I've always lived, going right to the edge and than at the last millisecond jumping back and watch as someone else doesn't make it.

So what else is new. My job today, if I choose to accept it, is to give back, to make amends for all the times I took. And some days those amends must be made to myself for all the self cruelty I inflicted. I've made mega amends to many people, been kind to others just to be kind. But as I look back I see how trying to be selfless was really just masquerading as good. Shame based and selfish. Like ME.

And today I find shame again in my tears. Tears of self pity. Selfish self pity is. Thinks I. Now that I don't take from others I find another willing victim. One that is much more clandestine, and blindsided by the hit. I don't allow myself to be old or ill or sad or what ever real emotions or physical ailments might be in order. And arrogance on the flip side of the shame card.

After I read my 1st step (admitted I am powerless over addiction and my life is unmanageable) the person said no one should remain in that much pain. That threw me... I didn't even know I was in pain. Now that it is named the time has come to have a little sanity restored.

P.S. Anyone that hasn't a clue as to what I'm talking about and may think I've taken leave of my senses your probably right but...there is hope for me. And anyone that can relate cool and as you know there is hope. If you think not or think maybe not for you, well, e-mail me. We'll talk.

So write I will. "All of this is a process, and our need for a restoration to sanity will change over time". Feel better all ready.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

Saturday, July 21, 2007


dry, brittle, dust, know one, abandon, alone, cracked, parched,

Friday, July 20, 2007

Dogs, blogs and Margaret Mead

As my mind jousts with the issues of right and wrong, and somehow it seems that I have latched on to a justifiable anger, I remember anger justified does not belong in my life. I couldn't bare to post a picture of a battle torn dog earlier although it would have been much more sensational. Instead I opted for a rather benign picture of Michael Vick and an apparently yet undefiled dog.

The allegations sicken me. I am fast to draw conclusions. And I know the law states "innocent until proven guilty". And I also know where there's smoke there's usually fire. And the only reason that I didn't post a more anger provoking picture is I could not bear to open my blog and even once and see something that appalling to me.

But I do think things should stop for awhile for Mr. Vick until things get sorted out. Nike isn't going to take any chances. Not that I have any warm and fuzzies for the big Corporate N. I just can't abide in the thought that Michael Vick could be squirreling away all those doubloon's for the rainy day when he may be convicted of the heinous crimes he is facing.

I could pontificate about the responsibilities of athletes and the institutions they represent but frankly I really only care about the dogs. My heart does not bleed for misguided youth, stupid actions of the rich and the famous, or the poor and downtrodden for that matter. I may have opinions but as of yet I don't feel compelled to to voice many of them.

But I also know as badly as this young man may have behaved he is not the apex of evil. He probably was a really nice kid at times and a brat at other times. And as an adult he is really a product of his environment. Maybe some of his genetic makeup has to do with it. I don't know.

I do know that I must respect all sentient beings, the four legged ones as well as the two legged ones. No matter what. Karma will even all things. But, I do feel justified in giving voice to the voiceless, such as animals. I may not have a very big voice and anger only sours my soul. But on my blog my very small voice may carry a bit further dear readers. Thank you so much.

I this I know for a fact. As the matters of Pete the dog go, for the ongoing saga, in one of my very first posts way back when, a person found it who has a business in Tucson that was profoundly affected by the ineptness of Scott Brucchieri. This gave me some comfort to know I was not alone. Dr. B has finally had his licence to practice Veterinary Medicine revoked. But he still owns Canyon Pet Clinic in Flagstaff, Arizona, and his wife Dr. Liz Brucchieri works there and is still in the business of butchering animals.

I know this because I was contacted again due to a posting on my blog about another horror story. This time, at the hands of Dr. L, a dog died during a routine teeth cleaning. And worse yet, the office with out written consent cremated the dead pet against the wishes of the pet owner. Again, another horror story. And again all I have is my small voice.

And it reminds me of the quote of someone else I found on another blog of one small voice:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. " Margaret Mead (1901-1978

One small step

Nike made a statement yesterday by suspending the introduction of Vick’s latest shoe — the Air Zoom Vick V.

In the NY Times today

THIS is an American sports hero????

Maybe someone should ask his dogs what they think of him...
I thought you might be interested in this HSUS campaign to
persuade Nike to stop using football player and alleged
dogfighter Michael Vick as as spokesperson. Now that a grand
jury has indicted Michael Vick on federal animal fighting
--causing a tsunami of bad publicity for anyone
associated with him--Nike must act.
Please ask Nike to cut their ties to Michael Vick immediately.
It will only take a minute. Here is the link:

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Wednesday, July 18, 2007

Well I sure have nothing good to say

So my blog will again remain almost free of the crap-o-la bouncing around between my ears. But I am going to once again liberate some great thoughts from else where. If they are yours and you want credit for them I will link it. If they are yours and want them off my site E-mail me and I will amend my blog. Its time for me to just listen.

for a new-found ability to keep my damn mouth shut

I have to keep reminding myself that I am not "better than" anyone else. But I have the option of being better than I am. That's my choice

Interpretation and commentary happen so fast .. I don’t stand a chance of catching even a glimpse of the way things really are ..which makes worrying about them a misuse of my imagination.

I have to remind myself daily that all of my shortcomings will be relieved on God’s timetable, not mine.

"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead (1901-1978)

And I'm still just a kid emotionally.There's a lot of work to be done in the time I have left.

." So the idea she uses is to think of someone who hurts you as an "account." Briefly review that hurt in your mind when it arises, go in and visualize canceling that debt. Then, if the thought comes back, that resentment, that anger over the event or circumstances, don't fight the thought. (The Buddhist tradition has taught us much here!) Instead, in your mind, visually check that account tied to that resentment or person or institution and say, "Yes, I canceled that debt; the account is empty."

I remember

When I had two dogs and a horse.

Sunday, July 15, 2007

Saturday, July 14, 2007

blatantly stolen from dAAve

Friday, July 13, 2007

My NA b-day

OMG!!!! I almost forgot today is the 13th.... My twelve step b-day. Its a good thing for Scout or I would have forgotten. And in celebration I am on a H&I panel tonight. I am sooooo forgetful. Thank You Scout. Now I'm on my way to your bloggie a bit late. I just got back from the river.

dog park

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


As July starts to double digit I realize I haven't factored in some bills; the comes do every six months or once a year bills. I freeze. Dead in my tracks. I have forgotten and I now live on the pittance of Social Security. Security? Not in this day and age. Not in my pocketbook. No longer am I bringing down 2 large a month and ends would always meet. I am heading to the big crack in my fiscal reality.

"I have forgotten " I tell it to the garnisher of my wage. They impart a feeling of needles under my nails or other torture du jour in the bag of tricks. We have our ways. A chill runs down my spine and back up again. I wring my hands and stifle a tear. What to do --- What to do.

One thing I am certain of is it will all work out. It always does and always will if I don't do anything really dumb. When I stop being overwhelmed and step out of combat mode the answer will come. For instance, I have over 600 CD's and an almost empty ipod. at a dollar a cd that's the hot tuna this month. or something similar, along those lines. Just trust god and clean house.

When confronted with beauty I feel bliss sneaking in

Saturday, July 07, 2007

Matters of Pete

Remember all the problems I had getting Pete neutered? the link to the blogs. Well here it is over a year later since it all began, and I haven't seen a dime from the money I spent to patch up my dog. The State saw fit to fine him(the vet who botched the job) $500.00 for technical stuff that went into their pocketbook. I went to small claims court and the judge did not find in my favor.

Kevins mom came over today and told me the news. Low and behold they finally revoked his license June 6th 2007. Here’s the link to the news paper story and TV commentary.
Good I say. get the creep away from our pets. I think though, I'm going to call the reporter and also channel 3 news that did the report. I don't know if anyone wants to take on the State agency or not. Good they can get money out of this guy but what about the people who had to spend money to fix their pets? They get nothing.

Oh by the way, I already took this to small claims court and because the State Board of Vetrenary Medicine only fined him for minor infractions, the Judge found that Scott Brucchieri didn't do anything wrong. HMMMM. Wonder whos doing who?

Friday, July 06, 2007

Kaei in the sky

Check it out

I updated my former post for the 5th Friday, and added some more links for the artists. Also added a slide show under websites. And I added a link for Comma Coffee. So now you know the rest of the story. Or at least the links for the rest of the story.

Thursday, July 05, 2007

I''v been fighting a sinus infection the last few days and I think it won.. my primary set me up with x-rays and an appointment with a specialist, antibiotics ect. I've been sleep sleep sleeping. Me and sick just don't do well. short post, this one, and I'm sure just a ploy for sympathy. I always miss my mom when I'm sick. Booo Hoooo. :+} Later Alligators.

Tuesday, July 03, 2007

Just a thought

Senator Biden reacts to President Bush commuting Scooter Libby's Sentence
Hours after a federal appeals court ruled that I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby would have to begin serving his prison sentence while appealing his conviction for crimes of perjury, obstruction of justice and lying to investigators, President Bush commuted his sentence.
Last week Vice President Cheney asserted that he was beyond the reach of the law. Today, President Bush demonstrated the lengths he would go to, ensuring that even aides to Dick Cheney are beyond the judgment of the law.
It is time for the American people to be heard.
I call for all Americans to flood the White House with phone calls tomorrow expressing their outrage over this blatant disregard for the rule of law.
Remind George Bush what he told staffers during a swearing in ceremony for White House staff back in January 2001:
"[We] must remember the high standards that come with high office. This begins with careful adherence to the rules. I expect every member of this administration to stay well within the boundaries that define legal and ethical conduct. This means avoiding even the appearance of problems. This means checking and, if need be, double- checking that the rules have been obeyed. This means never compromising those rules. No one in the White House should be afraid to confront the people they work for, for ethical concerns, and no one should hesitate to confront me as well. We are all accountable to one another. And above all, we are all accountable to the law and to the American people."
Click here to watch the video of George Bush addressing staff:
BUSH THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF SAID HE'D FIRE ANYONE FOR LEAKING, THAT NOBODY WAS INVOLVED. Asked in June 2004 if he'd stand by his pledge to fire anyone found to have leaked, Bush replied "yes." [Bush Press Conference: Savannah, GA, 6/10/04]"I don't know of anybody in my administration who leaked classified information. If somebody did leak classified information, I'd like to know it, and we'll take the appropriate action." [Bush Remarks: Chicago, Illinois, 9/30/03] "The President has set high standards, the highest of standards for people in his administration. He's made it very clear to people in his administration that he expects them to adhere to the highest standards of conduct. If anyone in this administration was involved in it, they would no longer be in this administration." [White House Briefing, 9/29/03]

Monday, July 02, 2007

Sunday, July 01, 2007

Beatty Nevada

I didn't leave Gardnerville until noon today. So... here I am in Beatty,Nevada and its 104`. Motel 6 with highspeed , HBO, dogs allowed, sure seemed like a better choice then a night in the back of the car. Here's Pete sneek'n around looking for goodies to eat that the birds might have missed.