JPG Magazine: MsB

Sunday, February 17, 2008

Stop the world, I want to get off

Well, I just got a ninety day notice to move out. The BF just can't stand my attitude anymore. Boy, this new development should really make my life much more exciting. Like I don't have enough excitement already. He just promised last night no matter what he would never ask me to leave. Promises, Promises.

I took care of my ex-husband as he was dieing of lung cancer. No, it wasn't easy. It was damn hard but I promised. I learned so much about selflessness, putting my life on hold for the good of another. Some days I just wanted to run away. But I didn't.

I'm not trying to toot my own horn here. I'm just saying I understand. But for me, I don't have the VA to pitch in and help. Or a mother that is still alive. And since I left Oregon I really don't have many friends.

Boy am I ever on the pity pot. so please don't let me forget:

Fear to faith. Don't give up before the miracle. And of course it is all exactly the way it is supposed to be.


My Other Blog said...

He doesn't love you enough to let you stay warm when he's not around. I hope you can find somewhere else to go faster than 90 days. Isn't there a better chance of getting a liver in a big city, or does it not matter where you live?

msb said...

Oh I don't think he's ever loved me. He's more of a visual sort of guy. but thats looking back in retrospect. I'm trying to figure out where the money will come from to move, and then of course the actual move will be tricky. My medical team in Phoenix is one of the strongest points for staying in AZ. but I want to be near my sister and her children in Minnesota. They are growing up and I'm missing the whole thing.

thejunkyswife said...

If he isn't seeing the beautiful, wonderful woman who is inside that hurting body, he doesn't deserve the privilege of taking care of you. I love you, B, and I hope you find the right place.

Lee William said...

I guess he's not responding well to the care-giver support group ..oh well. For you, it sounds hurtful and scary at the same time ..I guess the only thing I can offer is that you've made it this far reason to think you'll stop now. My sister Cindy lives in Phoenix ..602.284.5699 tell her 'brother bill' sent you