Just for today
today is one of those days I am filled with regret. All those if I'd only...... I know there is absolutely no point in going down that road. It will just drag me into the well charted waters of gloom and despair. Two maladies of the soul I can do without.
I'm busy today with plenty of do, this and thats, so I'm safe. Nothing to strenuous, or to mundane. But there are other things I'd rather be doing. Back burnered at least, not impossible stuff. So I have something to look forward to. I just have to conjure up the energy to put it all together.
I, being a person who wants things RIGHT NOW. Hmmm. Some of the things I want may be a bit unrealistic so I have to reset my plans for the future. Of course I'd rather not but, the chances I took in the past have really set the tone for my choice of plans for tomorrow and next week. And the rest of my life.
Ok, so what happened to one day at a time. Well seems like I've always lived in the" here and now". For tomorrow may never come. And what do you know, tomorrow came. And now it seems to be a burden because I don't like my options. Well at least I have options. Maybe I'll run this by my friend in the Joint and see what he has to say about my OPTIONS. I don't even think he'll laugh because all must sound so absurd to him.
He got twenty years for smuggling pot across the Florida/Georgia state line. All his "'partners" are free and living in Mexico today. So much for that stupid code of honor among thieves. But anyway, heath options there aren't in the Federal Pen, so when he gets out in 5 more years he will have worse cirrhosis then I do and be to old for a liver transplant.
Guess I better stop whining now.
6 comments:
regret and whining....yeah, very problematic paths to walk down. sweetness your way friend.
INteresting how you put it...tomorrow did come. Damn that seize the day mess.
Great post msb!
I think it is so crucial for all of us to think this way ..just for today and not let regret hold our potentials for that hostage.
We deserve today.
xo
Sounds like you could use a session with good ol' Dr. Pete, Therapy Dog.
I never thought I'd have a tomrrow either. And now I have some health issues that make more tomorrows look bleak -- I know you get that, B.
I blog with a guy in prison. He writes to someone on the outside who posts for him and also send him the comments. He always has a way of making me look at things in a clearer, cleaner light. Freedom can be such an overlooked gift, can't it?
Care bout you, grl!
Love,
Scout
Damn, I keep forgetting that stuff isn't legal yet.
"And what do you know, tomorrow came."
I never learned to live for today. I still want to. My regrets are all founded on being careful and conservative. Now it seems whatever I missed also had its costs. WTF? Maybe learning to be happy with just who we are really is the only answer.
As if.
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