moment in time

In Denver Colorado,thirty seven years ago on a blizzardy early a.m. a young girl hitchhikes to the hospital to drop a baby off. The Baby has been in her belly for eight and a half months and although nine months is recommended, this baby was not willing to stay on the womb any longer. It was hazardous and uncomfortable certainly. Who could blame this infant for wanting out.

Drug addicts are intensely self centered people. Often broken by things that karma delivered on their door step. Who could know. The mother of this child only wanted to do the right thing. Knowing, intuitively that life would not be changing any time soon, she had contacted an adoption agency, put her trust in a god she was not really sure about, and found the child a loving family to raise her up in a fashion such as children should be raised. When the mother looked into the now born infants eyes, an indescribable feeling of love took place. This mother did not feel worthy of the responsibility of such a love.

Many years passed before these two would meet again. And when they did, the mother felt a bond of kinship and love that even twenty five years apart couldn't wash away. they talked and learned of each other, it was like looking in the mirror. They promised to always stay in touch. Though marrages and divorces, birth and death these two shared hope and sorrow. Like very close people do.

But at some point the mother came to a roadblock. Who knows why. Feelings of not being enough were becoming overwhelming. And another death blew through the older womans life. She slowly withdrew, knowing it was not the right thing, but incapable of anything else. Self centered and godless as addicts often are. Maybe more so when drugs are not an option and faith far from the scene.

And then illness crept slowly, doing its dirty tricks to a not so old but yet ancient soul. The cure, elusive and treatment dubious. What would one say, " I just called to tell you I may be dieing soon, and thought I might like the dervish that I am, step one more time into your life just to leave again?