Pete is going to school to become a Therapy Dog

Just taking pictures

I took a slew of pictures at a local dog agility show last Saturday and I have been culling out all the ones that are blurry, out of focus, can't see the dog someone walks in front of the camera... ect. A bigger job than I expected. Heres one of my favorite dogs.

Just never know

I posted my old high school class picture a few blogs back because a few other blogger cohorts where doing it. It was fun. I had the picture out because I wanted to show someone how I can make that picture look good as new with the miracle of photoshop. When I get that done (after I feel better) I'll post it. But the best part is my high school sweetheart left me a couple of really nice comments. Who ever would have thunk!

By the way, I didn't feel so hot today but after sleeping for 6 more hours I feel like I am on the mend.

A OK

Its done, I survived. It went very well. I don't even have a black eye or a pig nose.

Nose

6:15 A.M The prep for nose surgery. EEEEEK

The Purina Diet

I was in Wal-Mart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line to check out. A woman behind me asked if I had a dog........ Duh!

I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her no, I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost
50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms. Her eyes almost bugged
out of her head.

I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry. The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and was that why I ended up in the hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my
butt when a car hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door, he laughed so hard.

'everybody loves a parade

The Verde Valley

Back to school

This is a picture of me just before I dropped out and turned on. I was 16 and a Junior in high school. 1968

Wash my face, Brush my teeth

Labor day

I'm ...... unhappy. It's a holiday and I can't get a refill on my thyroid medication. Who would think the Dr would write a prescription for one month. And the health insurance people have denied my sinus surgery. Can't call them either. Tomorrow is the pre-op for the surgery and of course they are on holiday.

All of this kind of thing I have no tolerance for anymore. My threshold for patience is almost nill. I'm trying to remember the days of yore when I had a more cavalier attitude. It is like a dream of some one else's life. Couldn't have been me. So I am putting on my happy face (that's supposed to work) and am trying to be positive.

Actually I really don't care at this point. I've ranted and raved ad infinitum. And what do ya know. I feel better. Or at least I'm not so attached to the outcome. I always try and remember its not whether I live or die (like I have a choice) but how I live. And if I don't get rid of the bile that is eating me up my life will be useless.

San Onofre

Visiter

Breakfast

Flower

the beach

the bird that came for lunch

To tired to write

Funny dog

Crazy

My computer on cobwebs!

I do believe my computer has lost its mind. The virus scan has been running for hours, and seems to affect the processor speed. I tryed to print a publisher file I printed yesterday-no problem-today it will only print half and tell me the printer is failing to print. It jumps to different web pages and my finger is not even on the mouse. I could go on and on.

I know a reboot is in order but its still scanning for viruses. If I stop it now it will want to start all over after the reboot. some days ...... well I just won't go into it. The good news it the BF is a proficient electrician. At least he was able to swap out the funky electrical box yesterday so I now have moist cool air dancing thru my house.

so what more could I ask for. :+)

Hot

Last night, when I was having a Cindy Sherman moment, it was cool and breathable. No forced cool swamp cooler air, just an Arizona night... cool and dry. No Sweat

Now, Hot...10am and ninety degrees... no swamp cooler to breath moist but cool air. Just dry parched Arizona day air. Cooler guy says call an electrician. OOOOOkkkkky.

So I will look at this picture and visualize that nice cool Arizona evening and think about going to San Juan Capistrano Sunday for beach weather.

Summer (link to artsy essay)

Good bye big sunshine
your golden leaves wilt drip drop
as hot summer wanes

big yellow mushroom

The Liver Dr. says its a go on the nose job. Yea, I guess. Good really as I already have the 4th sinus infection of 2007.

I am going to Orange County next Sunday to hang out at the beach. BF has friends there and we have been invited. I'm ready for another vacation.

And mucho photo opps. My dog will have to stay home. The best part of all my pictures I think. Will have to just make do. Well I really have nothing to say it appears. My brain is like a sieve.

lifes a beach

This an AP photo I found.
AP - Thu Aug 16, 6:26 PM ET
A dog sits in the heavy rains from Tropical Storm Erin on San Antonio's south side Thursday, Aug. 16, 2007. Erin's remnants soaked rain-weary Texas, snarling rush-hour traffic and killing at least one person. (AP Photo/San Antonio ) Sure hope he finds his way home.

Nose job

September 10; Right Maxillary Antrostomy ( Endoscopic Sinus Surgery). Big words for such a little thing. Nothing like Liver Transplant. 85% chance of success. good odds compared to the ones wrapped around LT.

An opportunity to put my trust in the hands of the medical world. I've not always had such good luck there. But the ear, nose, and throat person is really the hot tuna. And so is my liver Dr.

Easy, piece of cake. So why am I even ruminating about it. Because thats what I do. About every little thing. .................................

And I get to go see The Liver DR. on Friday. And thats always fun. He really is on of the good guys in the medical field. Even if I never get a new liver my life will have been a been a better place because of him. He has givin me hope. A most precious principle in my world today. I, how loose hope at the drop of a hat.

Junk ola

This really is a junkola day for me. I feel like crap. My bf has crap coming down at his job and transferring it back. It's like his job would be better if,??? If I cleaned the house better, if I kept my room straighter, if I didn't spend so much time on my computer, ect....

So I have all my own crap along with his. If I voice my feelings his words are something to the effect that I'm delusional. We have company coming (his friends) this week-end so I had planned to make the house nice but I really hate to have him demand it of me.

I know its his way of having some kind of control over something. I just wish I didn't feel so bad all the time. I wish I could work at a job. But wish in one hand an d shit in the other and see which on fills up first. Yikes!

I think its going around. Everyone I've talked to is in a funk. Mars in retrograde? I know that it will pass. But first I might have to have a fit. Not like I used to. Nothing well get broken. No verbal assassination I can't dig out of.

I don't have the energy. I try to remember to put others first. That helps. Like I'm on a mission to be more Buddha centered. or what ever that may be called. I owe it to myself. But right now its just so much easier to sit. I have a dog park meeting tonight. The BF will have to have cold dinner. I feel guilty. Not that I am but I FEEL that way. feelings aren't reality. They are just feelings. I'm sure my bf will validate my feeling bad because he will eat the cold dinner.

Well thats enough junkola for now. I will clean to the best of my ability and whine alot. Maybe I'll call two dogs. I love to talk to her. A little sugar with the medicine.

Ben

Fantasy Football

So... who knows about fantasy football? I own a team--The Maarz Chows. And next week is draft week. Who do I pick? I used to know football but its been years. Like before the the Rams left La La Land. Fran Tarkenton passed for Minnesota. George Blanda was young well then again, when was he ever young??? Joe Namath was life size on my sisters door(oooo scary).

Help... who are these young boys out there running around? Whos hot? Who are the true boys of fall? Winter? Spring? and half of summer? The season is so long now. Baseball and football run together. Well the times they are a changen' And so goes it.

Pete in the iceplant

wet leaves

But,....butt what

getten' po' litical

I look at the pictures of the bridge collapse in Minnesota and I get chills. My sister lives there and for years she crossed that bridge several times a day. She moved last year and no longer a regular user of that part of the freeway.

On 9/11 she was in NYC doing a final presentation for the company she worked for. They had bribed her into doing it by paying for her husband and two children to go with. She was moving on to a new job after that. It took her 10 days to get home because she was to terrified to fly with her children.

We invaded Iraq based on misinformation. We continue to fight a war that very few people support with no hope of any positive outcome. We are in a country that has been fighting the same religious squabble for centuries. And they all hate this country more than ever. The people we claim ran the planes into the twin towers aren't even in that country.

I only mention the two events in that (other then my sisters proximity to both) I see the beginning of a money drain on our economy and a glaring deficit of where funds are reaped from, repairs to this countries infrastructure. We could all name many other deficiencies ... I'm sure.

It doesn't take a genius to put this 2+2 together. When are we going to get our people in office to wake up and smell the coffee? The pots on and nobodies home? Maybe we have the wrong people in office? How much worse does it have to get? How many more bridges must fall. How many more of our youth must be injured and come home to third rate medicine? Or to tombstones.

I'm not a political aficionado nor an expert on much of anything but I surely am sick and tired of waking up to the contempt our government seems to have for the wishes of their constituents. Not to mention how evasive of the law the Bush administration has become.

to cute

http://www.idodogtricks.com/index_flash.html

type in doggy commands; roll over, beg, sit, ect. don't forget kiss.

So beautiful

another liberation from the www. 2 view more go to two dogs blogging for the link.

What

Happiness

"To seek happiness outside ourselves is like trying to lasso a cloud." Paramhansa Yogananda

odometer of age

Can't stop at 55

Been out cruising' the photo blogs tonight. There is some amazing work out there. And done by people I keep thinking of as kids. Wrong, I'm just old. I'm waiting to see my profile turn over tonite. Do you suppose it will. Like an odometer. Is 55 the magic number?

Anyway the fotos. By twenty somethings. Amazing what they see. Or what I've missed. My peers, my hero's, my generation, Diane Arbus in B&W. She took normal and made it odd and odd and treated it as normal. She was my personal favorite, dark and tortured artist. I read somewhere she photographed two rolls a day and developed and printed them by night. I had to do that. For over a year. My whole house became a darkroom. sometimes I would loose a day.

And then it was Cindy Shermon. So grand, more like theater. I became my photo. My dream girl. And the props. Never got tired of dressing up. I became my own personal photo Barbie. Or Jackie O. or the Ho on the corner. Ended up dark too. I had to shoot slides because I could develop them my self. I wanted color and the one hour photo wouldn't print them.

My favorite Ken was gay. Those were the Mapplethorpe (careful with this link) days. No bullwhips for my muse. Cigarettes and smoke, Betty Davis eyes. But the flowers were exquisite, well to me. I do tend to be a bit narcissistic. Those were the days my friend, I thought they would never end.

But life got in the way. Mainstream, student loans, back taxes, accountability. The tortured struggling artist had to go. I lost my drive and Passion in my quest for the real. What ever the fuck that means. All that came out of my camera was the mundane. No vision. And I settled for what I got. I accepted life as it became and learned to be ok.

And I stopped taking pictures. Husbands and business became the muse. because for me, I only knew how to be a tortured artist. I, not an artist that can take the world and undo its mundane and make it beautiful. These new photographers take edgy and hip and not have to resort to shock for value. No need for Joel Peter-Witken creepy attached to almost unrelated intellectual thesis. No pics of family children snapped in a way as to try and define the distinction between soft porn and exquisite family photos.

And the pictures I am seeing are not a gesture at gross manipulation. What as been contrived is almost indiscernible. Good cameras and good eye for wimsey in a cutting sort of way. And did I mention beautiful. Breathtaking some. Thoughtful, unpretentious, fun. I'm sure there's plenty of the other stuff out there and granted I have been flipping through the pages of JEPG. But all I know is I like it.

I don't know, maybe at 55 I have become a prude. I suppose it all had its place and now I am moving on. It may be a sign that I have finally arrived solidly in adulthood or I have finally begun my next journey. The move is to find beauty. No questions asked. Or than maybe just no answers. Only unsolved beauty.

the watcher

a bit of color

I can change my outlook any time

thanks Wacom

and da cat was down

Well what a day. Got up, took the dogs to the dog park, did the dishes, went to the store for milk, sent of a poster I sold on e-bay, put another one up for sale, read my blogs and feel asleep. When I woke up I realized how often this has been happening. Six months ago it was just a few times a week.

And then I started to cry. I don't want to watch as my health diminishes and I know it will no matter what I want. BIG pity pot I was on. I'm not going to die. Well probably not but I am more than likely going to go right to the edge before I get better. That's the way I've always lived, going right to the edge and than at the last millisecond jumping back and watch as someone else doesn't make it.

So what else is new. My job today, if I choose to accept it, is to give back, to make amends for all the times I took. And some days those amends must be made to myself for all the self cruelty I inflicted. I've made mega amends to many people, been kind to others just to be kind. But as I look back I see how trying to be selfless was really just masquerading as good. Shame based and selfish. Like ME.

And today I find shame again in my tears. Tears of self pity. Selfish self pity is. Thinks I. Now that I don't take from others I find another willing victim. One that is much more clandestine, and blindsided by the hit. I don't allow myself to be old or ill or sad or what ever real emotions or physical ailments might be in order. And arrogance on the flip side of the shame card.

After I read my 1st step (admitted I am powerless over addiction and my life is unmanageable) the person said no one should remain in that much pain. That threw me... I didn't even know I was in pain. Now that it is named the time has come to have a little sanity restored.

P.S. Anyone that hasn't a clue as to what I'm talking about and may think I've taken leave of my senses your probably right but...there is hope for me. And anyone that can relate cool and as you know there is hope. If you think not or think maybe not for you, well, e-mail me. We'll talk.

So write I will. "All of this is a process, and our need for a restoration to sanity will change over time". Feel better all ready.

The dog days of summer

isolate

dry, brittle, dust, know one, abandon, alone, cracked, parched,

Dogs, blogs and Margaret Mead

As my mind jousts with the issues of right and wrong, and somehow it seems that I have latched on to a justifiable anger, I remember anger justified does not belong in my life. I couldn't bare to post a picture of a battle torn dog earlier although it would have been much more sensational. Instead I opted for a rather benign picture of Michael Vick and an apparently yet undefiled dog.



The allegations sicken me. I am fast to draw conclusions. And I know the law states "innocent until proven guilty". And I also know where there's smoke there's usually fire. And the only reason that I didn't post a more anger provoking picture is I could not bear to open my blog and even once and see something that appalling to me.



But I do think things should stop for awhile for Mr. Vick until things get sorted out. Nike isn't going to take any chances. Not that I have any warm and fuzzies for the big Corporate N. I just can't abide in the thought that Michael Vick could be squirreling away all those doubloon's for the rainy day when he may be convicted of the heinous crimes he is facing.



I could pontificate about the responsibilities of athletes and the institutions they represent but frankly I really only care about the dogs. My heart does not bleed for misguided youth, stupid actions of the rich and the famous, or the poor and downtrodden for that matter. I may have opinions but as of yet I don't feel compelled to to voice many of them.



But I also know as badly as this young man may have behaved he is not the apex of evil. He probably was a really nice kid at times and a brat at other times. And as an adult he is really a product of his environment. Maybe some of his genetic makeup has to do with it. I don't know.


I do know that I must respect all sentient beings, the four legged ones as well as the two legged ones. No matter what. Karma will even all things. But, I do feel justified in giving voice to the voiceless, such as animals. I may not have a very big voice and anger only sours my soul. But on my blog my very small voice may carry a bit further dear readers. Thank you so much.


I this I know for a fact. As the matters of Pete the dog go, for the ongoing saga, in one of my very first posts way back when, a person found it who has a business in Tucson that was profoundly affected by the ineptness of Scott Brucchieri. This gave me some comfort to know I was not alone. Dr. B has finally had his licence to practice Veterinary Medicine revoked. But he still owns Canyon Pet Clinic in Flagstaff, Arizona, and his wife Dr. Liz Brucchieri works there and is still in the business of butchering animals.


I know this because I was contacted again due to a posting on my blog about another horror story. This time, at the hands of Dr. L, a dog died during a routine teeth cleaning. And worse yet, the office with out written consent cremated the dead pet against the wishes of the pet owner. Again, another horror story. And again all I have is my small voice.

And it reminds me of the quote of someone else I found on another blog of one small voice:

"Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. " Margaret Mead (1901-1978

One small step

Nike made a statement yesterday by suspending the introduction of Vick’s latest shoe — the Air Zoom Vick V.

In the NY Times today

THIS is an American sports hero????

Maybe someone should ask his dogs what they think of him...

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=2941401

I thought you might be interested in this HSUS campaign to
persuade Nike to stop using football player and alleged
dogfighter Michael Vick as as spokesperson. Now that a grand
jury has indicted Michael Vick on federal animal fighting
charges--causing a tsunami of bad publicity for anyone
associated with him--Nike must act.
Please ask Nike to cut their ties to Michael Vick immediately.
It will only take a minute. Here is the link:
https://community.hsus.org/campaign/US_2007_dogfighting_nike?rk=L7Nuql91BwhqW

Waiting 4 Godot

Well I sure have nothing good to say

So my blog will again remain almost free of the crap-o-la bouncing around between my ears. But I am going to once again liberate some great thoughts from else where. If they are yours and you want credit for them I will link it. If they are yours and want them off my site E-mail me and I will amend my blog. Its time for me to just listen.

for a new-found ability to keep my damn mouth shut

I have to keep reminding myself that I am not "better than" anyone else. But I have the option of being better than I am. That's my choice

Interpretation and commentary happen so fast .. I don’t stand a chance of catching even a glimpse of the way things really are ..which makes worrying about them a misuse of my imagination.

I have to remind myself daily that all of my shortcomings will be relieved on God’s timetable, not mine.

"Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. Margaret Mead (1901-1978)


And I'm still just a kid emotionally.There's a lot of work to be done in the time I have left.

." So the idea she uses is to think of someone who hurts you as an "account." Briefly review that hurt in your mind when it arises, go in and visualize canceling that debt. Then, if the thought comes back, that resentment, that anger over the event or circumstances, don't fight the thought. (The Buddhist tradition has taught us much here!) Instead, in your mind, visually check that account tied to that resentment or person or institution and say, "Yes, I canceled that debt; the account is empty."

I remember

When I had two dogs and a horse.

Lu wants to know if the waters greener on the other side

Pete the land shark

blatantly stolen from dAAve

My NA b-day

OMG!!!! I almost forgot today is the 13th.... My twelve step b-day. Its a good thing for Scout or I would have forgotten. And in celebration I am on a H&I panel tonight. I am sooooo forgetful. Thank You Scout. Now I'm on my way to your bloggie a bit late. I just got back from the river.

dog park

cracked

As July starts to double digit I realize I haven't factored in some bills; the comes do every six months or once a year bills. I freeze. Dead in my tracks. I have forgotten and I now live on the pittance of Social Security. Security? Not in this day and age. Not in my pocketbook. No longer am I bringing down 2 large a month and ends would always meet. I am heading to the big crack in my fiscal reality.

"I have forgotten " I tell it to the garnisher of my wage. They impart a feeling of needles under my nails or other torture du jour in the bag of tricks. We have our ways. A chill runs down my spine and back up again. I wring my hands and stifle a tear. What to do --- What to do.

One thing I am certain of is it will all work out. It always does and always will if I don't do anything really dumb. When I stop being overwhelmed and step out of combat mode the answer will come. For instance, I have over 600 CD's and an almost empty ipod. at a dollar a cd that's the hot tuna this month. or something similar, along those lines. Just trust god and clean house.

When confronted with beauty I feel bliss sneaking in

this tongues 4 u dr b

trapped in plastic a prom queen waiting to fly

Matters of Pete

Remember all the problems I had getting Pete neutered?http://thefirstchakra.blogspot.com/2007/01/ongoig-saga-of-pete-dog.html the link to the blogs. Well here it is over a year later since it all began, and I haven't seen a dime from the money I spent to patch up my dog. The State saw fit to fine him(the vet who botched the job) $500.00 for technical stuff that went into their pocketbook. I went to small claims court and the judge did not find in my favor. http://thefirstchakra.blogspot.com/2007/03/sometimes-your-windshield-and-sometimes.html

Kevins mom came over today and told me the news. Low and behold they finally revoked his license June 6th 2007. Here’s the link to the news paper story and TV commentary. http://www.azdailysun.com/articles/2007/06/06/news/20070606_front%2520page_12.txthttp://www.azfamily.com/news/local/stories/KTVKLNews20070606_vet.2046e89c.html
Good I say. get the creep away from our pets. I think though, I'm going to call the reporter and also channel 3 news that did the report. I don't know if anyone wants to take on the State agency or not. Good they can get money out of this guy but what about the people who had to spend money to fix their pets? They get nothing.

Oh by the way, I already took this to small claims court and because the State Board of Vetrenary Medicine only fined him for minor infractions, the Judge found that Scott Brucchieri didn't do anything wrong. HMMMM. Wonder whos doing who?

Kaei in the sky

Check it out

I updated my former post for the 5th Friday, and added some more links for the artists. Also added a slide show under websites. And I added a link for Comma Coffee. So now you know the rest of the story. Or at least the links for the rest of the story.

I''v been fighting a sinus infection the last few days and I think it won.. my primary set me up with x-rays and an appointment with a specialist, antibiotics ect. I've been sleep sleep sleeping. Me and sick just don't do well. short post, this one, and I'm sure just a ploy for sympathy. I always miss my mom when I'm sick. Booo Hoooo. :+} Later Alligators.

Just a thought

Senator Biden reacts to President Bush commuting Scooter Libby's Sentence
Hours after a federal appeals court ruled that I. Lewis "Scooter" Libby would have to begin serving his prison sentence while appealing his conviction for crimes of perjury, obstruction of justice and lying to investigators, President Bush commuted his sentence.
Last week Vice President Cheney asserted that he was beyond the reach of the law. Today, President Bush demonstrated the lengths he would go to, ensuring that even aides to Dick Cheney are beyond the judgment of the law.
It is time for the American people to be heard.
I call for all Americans to flood the White House with phone calls tomorrow expressing their outrage over this blatant disregard for the rule of law.
202-456-1414
Remind George Bush what he told staffers during a swearing in ceremony for White House staff back in January 2001:
"[We] must remember the high standards that come with high office. This begins with careful adherence to the rules. I expect every member of this administration to stay well within the boundaries that define legal and ethical conduct. This means avoiding even the appearance of problems. This means checking and, if need be, double- checking that the rules have been obeyed. This means never compromising those rules. No one in the White House should be afraid to confront the people they work for, for ethical concerns, and no one should hesitate to confront me as well. We are all accountable to one another. And above all, we are all accountable to the law and to the American people."
Click here to watch the video of George Bush addressing staff: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjwLlfFKerU
BUSH THE COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF SAID HE'D FIRE ANYONE FOR LEAKING, THAT NOBODY WAS INVOLVED. Asked in June 2004 if he'd stand by his pledge to fire anyone found to have leaked, Bush replied "yes." [Bush Press Conference: Savannah, GA, 6/10/04]"I don't know of anybody in my administration who leaked classified information. If somebody did leak classified information, I'd like to know it, and we'll take the appropriate action." [Bush Remarks: Chicago, Illinois, 9/30/03] "The President has set high standards, the highest of standards for people in his administration. He's made it very clear to people in his administration that he expects them to adhere to the highest standards of conduct. If anyone in this administration was involved in it, they would no longer be in this administration." [White House Briefing, 9/29/03]

Home sweet home

Beatty Nevada

I didn't leave Gardnerville until noon today. So... here I am in Beatty,Nevada and its 104`. Motel 6 with highspeed , HBO, dogs allowed, sure seemed like a better choice then a night in the back of the car. Here's Pete sneek'n around looking for goodies to eat that the birds might have missed.